I don’t read Jezebel often, but when I do, I am always prepared to read some kind of failure or erasure. It seems to me, that feminist spaces are quite content to belittle parenting and motherhood. Rarely do we read anything that supports a woman’s right to mother, and instead we are inundated with the importance of the pro choice argument. I fully support a woman’s right to choose, but I cannot help but wonder when it is going to be acknowledged that choice also means choosing to mother.
Jezebel decided to report on a study published Psychological Science University of Waterloo researchers write:
“Many people believe that to be truly fulfilled in life, it is necessary to experience the joys of parenthood. Children are considered an essential source of happiness, satisfaction, and pride. However, the idea that parenthood involves substantial emotional rewards appears to be something of a myth.”
I would like to know how one quantifies love? What scale do we use for the measurement, and how do we know for certain that parents are faking or over stating what they feel?
Maraget Hartmann was so determined to push this study, that she actually wrote the following: “The parents who only read about the high cost of spawning were more likely to talk about the emotional satisfaction they receive from parenting.” No human being spawns, we reproduce and that is a bigoted term to apply to parenthood. So Hartmann just happened to come across a journal article that upholds all of the negative connotations that they have been so guilty of perpetuating in the past. Jezebel is anything but a pro mother, or pro child environment, and so how can I, or any mother read that article and see this as nothing but an attack.
Not all women enjoy the experience of mothering. It is further complicated by the fact that there are few social support systems to help to raise a child, however it is still a large leap to declare that parents don’t love their children or inflate how we feel.