What A Slut

One of the main disadvantages that comes with living in a small town is the constant awareness of the activities of others.  There are certainly areas that have a smaller population than the Niagara Region, but for me this is about as small as I can tolerate.

One of things that I have learned is that people love to gossip.  I suppose when there is not much else to do with your free time, gossip provides good entertainment for some.  The divorce rate here is no higher than any other area, and people are just as unfaithful and yet I am continually being told about some woman’s slut like behaviour.

It takes two people to be unfaithful in a marriage, and yet it is always the slutty woman that is to blame.  If only she had kept her legs shut, we could be living Leave it to Beaver lives circa 1950. 

When the conversation starts off with did you hear so and so was caught in bed with so and so, my inclination is to tune right out because I know that it is only a matter of time before the woman in the sexual liaison is subject to some kind of social discipline for her sexual behaviour.

Women are not allowed to fuck who, where or when we want without being hyper vigilante of how this behaviour will appear to others.  We cannot even masturbate in peace because we are taught that touching ourselves is a no no. We are told that our orgasms are given to us by men, and we can only experience them in a controlled environment mandated by patriarchy’s desire to control our sexual behaviour.

Even when we receive permission to be sexual, we have to be careful and not cross the line of what is considered appropriate female sexuality.  Don’t initiate sex to often because men like the chase, pretend that the missionary position is the most stimulating sexually, though it does nothing for the clitoris, and remember to moan at the mere sight of a penis.  OOOOH erect phallus must display awe and wonderment.

Slut shaming seems to be a social hobby.  Why join a bowling league, take a cooking class or read a damn book when you can engage in acts that ensure that women will forever be constructed as second class citizens? The joy that people take in participating in such malicious gossip is not harmless;  not only does it help maintain the idea that women should all be chaste, it stops people from focusing on why they take such pleasure in focusing on others.

If you feel the need to get off on other people fucking, perhaps you should just throw caution to the wind  and figure out where your own damn clit is. I promise you won’t grow hair on your palms, and masturbating might actually make your own sex life a little better.  What someone else does sexually has no bearing on your life, or the content of their character.  Yes, I know that we have been taught that there are only some sexual acts that are acceptable, but my view is that if sex is occurring between two consenting adults, and no one gets hurt, get your freak on with pleasure.

Having a good, active sex life is excellent for our emotional health.  Nothing beats getting sweaty and having  earth shattering orgasms… You know, the kind where your eyes roll back in your head and you damn near swear you had an out of body experience…yeah that kind of good.  The fact that we feel the need to interfere with someone else’s pleasure, because of where or how it occurs, only signals that even though sex is everywhere we look,  it is still a highly disciplined behaviour. 

Here is my suggestion to all of you who feel the need to gossip, Stop it. Take all of the energy and angst that you have invested in policing others and  focus on your own happiness.  Gossip never comes from a good place.  Perhaps becoming the town slut and having your own earth shattering orgasms might just be a happier healthier thing to be, than an uptight repressed ninny with a fridge for a twat.

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