It’s been quite some time since I was forced to shame Sparky; however, his recent drugged up state leaves me no choice but to hold him up for ridicule once again. As you know, poor Sparky had a terrible accident and fell down a set of marble stairs leaving him terribly injured. When he is not whining and his pain pill kick in, he can be quite a trip. Some of you may be old enough to remember, the eighties commercial this is your brain on drugs.
If only Sparky’s brain were so easy to tolerate. But like everything else, he once again has decided to be difficult and make sure that everyone suffers alongside him. There is an ENTIRE OCEAN between Sparky and I, yet it could not protect me from him when he is drug fuelled. I know that you are probably wondering how bad it could possibly be – well no need to worry, I plan on sharing with you. Picture this, Niagara Falls Ontario 2010 ( yes I just channelled Sophia petrillo) a young and startling beautiful Black mother sits scouring the internet for news, when an overly high English fellow decides to share this:
Now that seems pretty harmless doesn’t it? I could have forgiven this because no one is really themselves when they are hopped up on pain meds. I tried to humour him but he insisted on sharing some more.
What the hell did I ever do to deserve this? I have had some pretty ridiculous drunk dials in my life. Gus AKA Allison McCarthy I am looking at you. I would rather listen to a dentist drill than that terrible llama song. Sparky almost seemed filled with glee at the pain he was causing, but since Canadians are known to be polite, I politely discouraged him, while secretly plotting how long it would take send an attack beaver over the pond to bring an end to this terror. Even as I was busy calculating, Sparky still had more to offer.
Okay readers, now that I have shared my pain with you, I need a ruling. How long is someone expected to tolerate the brain fart that emerges from a friend when they are either hopped up on pain meds or decide to drunk dial you in the middle of the night to tell you how much they adore you? Even as I was saying good night and threatening to shame him today, he thought that everyone would be amused. Can you believe that? The llama song alone is enough to make me want to bang my head against a wall.
Okay weigh in y’all. I am sure I shall once again emerge victorious and that Sparky shall be forced to hang his head in shame. After you are done speaking your peace, don’t forget to share your most embarrassing inebriated moment — or the most irritating drunk dial you have ever had.