Navel Gazing Concern Troll on Over Drive

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I recently wrote a piece about the cluelessness of Gweneth Paltrow.  You would think that writing about that woman, would be enough to spare me from navel gazing concern trolls from hell, but you would be wrong.  Every day my email is inundated with the most ridiculous commentary.  There are days when it is enough to make me want to bang my head repeatedly against a desk.  In the hopes of alleviating some of the stress, I have decided to share the following one with you.

I saw your blog linked on Tumblr, so I read your post and…

You proved Gwyneth correct with your intro:

As I have said before, people love to hate on Gwyneth Paltrow, and to that I must add that it is with good cause.  Could there be a more clueless, rich, cisgender, straight, White woman running around? I know that before I even start reading an article about her, that I am going to be irritated, and yet my masochist tendencies mean that I still read it through.  Of course, this ends with me spewing epithets, while I go on a five minute or so rant, about her obliviousness to the world around her.

It could be your masochism…and it could be that your anger is misdirected. Instead of being angry at someone who is privileged but is working hard to earn her privilege (as opposed to the children of rich, powerful people who spend their days boozing, sexing, rolling around in their money), you could focus on the privileges that you have that someone else envies you for – for example, owning a laptop…used to promote your anger, having 10 fingers…that can type hateful messages about someone, the ability to easily breathe…hot fire.

Can we talk about…?
What’s your theory?

Oh, that people are jealous. I know I’m going to sound like a suck up, but you’re gorgeous, have a great career, two beautiful children, married to a big rock star. It all looks so effortless. You’re well spoken. It just rubs people the wrong way. You look perfect.
It’s funny because I’m so not. Of course, some of it is luck. My parents had money and they sent me to a good school, but it’s like, what do you choose to do with that? You can rely on that and not do anything with it or you can say, “How am I going to justify that good fortune? How am I going to say my parents didn’t waste their money on me?” I just think I’m really all about hard work and I honestly feel like anyone can have or do what they want as long as they put their mind to it.

I’ve seen angry posts about white privilege. I’ve seen angry posts about white people who deny their white privilege. I’ve seen angry posts about white people who feel guilty about their white privilege. Frankly, some people are going to be angry at white people, period. White people can’t help being born white in a place where that is a privilege any more than black people can help being born black in a place where that is not privileged, so why are you so angry at Gwyneth? What would you like her to do to make you feel better? Abdicate her background and whiteness? Give back the money that she has earned from working hard at her job? Throw away the artistic talent that she inherited from her parents? Maybe cut up her face or dye her hair brown? Divorce her husband? Adopt 5 black kids? At this point, you have admitted that she irritates you every time you read her…so 1.) why do you get irritated and 2.) why do you watch her so closely?

I suggest that you re-read her statement. She’s talking about you:

It’s about themselves.
Exactly. It’s a projection. Sometimes if I hear of something really unkind or somebody’s really misunderstood me or something like that for a second I’ll be like, “Oooh wow that hurt,” but almost immediately I’ll be like, “poor guy.” What state are they in that they’re seeing that or projecting that.

I read a few more of your posts to see where you’re coming from before coming to a conclusion about you. You describe yourself as a “humanist”, a “womanist”, a “pacifist”, and “anti-racist”. Sure, you come off to me as a person who is humane (except towards blond, white women), a womanist (except towards blond, white women), a pacifist (except when spewing violent rhetoric against “inhumane” people who dare to not feel guilty about their privileges) and anti-racist (except towards blond, white women).

You might want to check out this post. I hope that you never have to experience the rage of the deaf or blind who are angry at you for the crime of being born with hearing and sight and the nerve not to feel guilty about it.

Despite what angry black humanist, womanist, anti-racist people think, being black and a woman does have its privileges: it allows you to focus on how the world dealt you a bad hand and get angry at those who are holding aces rather than skillfully play the hand that you were dealt.

You simply cannot make this shit up.  Someone actually invested their time to write this tripe and thought that they were doing me a service.  It seems that I just need to understand that clueless over privileged white people “just can’t help it,” despite the fact that it directly leads to the oppression of poor people and POC. This of course translates to jealousy and I simply need to accept this. You know, I am going to stop right here, because responding to this tripe makes it appear that the author had a legitimate argument rather than something which has no basis in reality other than to crush dissent because it is not viewed as convenient.

So in short, if you are tempted to send me an email that is full of navel gazing claptrap, please for the love of heaven don’t.  I won’t take you seriously, and it might even irritate me enough to publish your email for the sake of ridiculing. If this email even remotely reflects your views, I don’t know why you are reading this blog, but whatever the reason, sending me an email like this amounts to cyber littering.     

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