You ever watch a show and find yourself saying wtf son? Okay, well maybe not in those exact words, but yeah, that would be “Louie”. “Louie” is the title of Louie C.K.’s new show about his life. So let me just set the basics. Louie is a balding divorced man in his forties. He has two young daughters and his life is a constant pursuit to get laid. I sort of think of it as the “Leisure Suit Larry” for 2010. Yeah, I know that analogy made me look old, but just shut the hell up about it. This is Louie.
Well I was raised to be kind to all people, so I will just say there is someone’s child. At any rate, Louie is extremely bizare. Each episode he starts off with a brief monologue. Yep, a direct Seinfeld rip off and at times equally awkward. This week’s joke was the following:
Okay here’s the the thing, I have two children and the thing that scares me the most is that they disappear. There is nothing that scares me more than them disappearing; that’s every parents worse fear. Now why do kids disappear sometimes? I think it is because somebody took them and had sex with them. And once you have sex with a kid you have to toss them because, people hate folks who have sex with kids — more than pretty much anybody. If you murder somebody folks will find you a reason – ah you were upset, you didn’t have, you were dehydrated whatever. So if you have sex with a kid you gotta chuck ’em out cause if the kid tell anybody you’re screwed. I can’t help thinking that if we could take down a few notches the hatred for kids having sex people, at least you’d get the kid back. So what I’m trying to say is that the guy could just call you, “Hey I just fucked your kid you want me to take them to soccer or drop them at your house? Does he have any nut allergies cause he just ate some cashew butter?” I know listen, listen, listen to me, listen to me, I know that’s hard to hear, I know that’s hard to hear but it’s true. It’s true, that if we minded child molesting less, less kids would die, that’s true. Now I don’t know what to do that information. I don’t have a way to apply that to anything that’s helpful.
Did you follow his logic or find anything funny? The thing with comedians, is that they often equate shocking people, and being insensitive to funny. What the hell is amusing about a child being molested? Of course, we are supposed to be disarmed by the fact that he is a father, but somehow this makes his whole proposition that much more creepy. I should have hit the stop button right there and then, but how was I know it would turn into the most rapetastic, and stalkerific half hour of television I have seen in a long time?
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