I Am Fat

Generally speaking I am fairly positive about my body but like everyone else, there are days when all the shame and negativity of being fat, really and truly gets to me. If you are woman with even a minimal internet presence, chances are you have been subject to fat shaming.  It suggests that being fat means that you don’t have the right to take up space or to an opinion. People don’t want to engage with ideas because they would rather engage in conversation about teh death fatz. It’s frustrating and meant to silence.  I came across a great video of a woman who fought back against online fat hating trolls and I thought I would share it with you.

Transcript for I AM FAT! (Veda 22) below the fold

(Video is of a fat, white woman in a room that looks like a bedroom)

Veda: So today is a very important blog because I, as of recent, have been getting some old-school YouTube fat hate.

Music: Blog every day, blog every day in April

Veda: It’s been a long time. I shouldn’t have left you without a dope beat to step to, step to, step to. I don’t even know how to respond to it anymore because I’m like, “Oh, oh, this still exists!” Many of you know that I created Project Lifesize because I used to get a significant amount of hate when I was like, 19 or 20 and first starting out on YouTube. And, as someone who’s dealt with her fair share of body issues and being made to feel less than, and, you know, growing into a person that doesn’t hate themselves or think that they are not deserving of love or respect, I wanted to create a place where we could discuss actual issues, and also, I wanted to feel a little less alone in the world, know that there are people out there that also didn’t completely hate themselves because of the size of their body.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I’m fat. I know, it’s pretty crazy. I’m not skinny. I’m not a skinny girl. (Steps back from the camera and shows her torso) I’m a big girl, I have a big butt. Just because when I’m filming videos it’s here (motions at mid-chest) and up doesn’t mean I’m hiding this (motions at entire body), it just means it’s more convenient for you to see my face instead of just filming this (motions at body from mid-chest to waist) all the time. I’m a fat girl. I’m a tall girl. I’m from Michigan. I have boobs! I have bad eyesight—it’s why I wear glasses. These are all things you know from watching my videos. I’m not ashamed of any of them. I’m not offended by you calling me fat—I am fat! That is a fact! I’m fat! It’s okay, we’re still here, it’s okay. I’m technically obese, though I was morbidly obese last year, and after adopting a whole foods diet, I’ve lost over sixty pounds. So when you try to link me being fat with me being unhealthy, you should know that it’s not the case.

I think it’s important to remember that the word “fat” is not itself hurtful, it’s all of the things that you attach to the word fat. Call me lazy, call me unmotivated, call me ugly, call me slobby, call me unhygienic, call me all these other things that people associate with the word fat…that is not true! You never know where someone is in their journey with their weight, and you never know how someone feels about themselves. I look at all the things I accomplished when people told me I couldn’t do it because of the way I looked, and all I can say to you trying to tear that down is, “F*** you.” Why does it hurt you if I don’t hate myself? My body is a good body. My body is a strong body. It’s one that I take pretty good care of. Don’t act like you know any different! You’re not going to tell me who I am. You’re not going to do it. This person also wanted to point out that I live at home; I’m actually at home because my grandma was in a coma, so I was visiting family. So thank you for that.

Transcript done by QueerFatstronaut

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