Gwyneth Paltrow: A Day In The Life

There are some websites I should avoid simply because they give me massive headaches – GOOP is one of them.  Could there be a more elitist, irritating piece of nonsense on the web? I fully admit women like me are not the target audience, but the sheer obliviousness of the blather really must be seen to be believed. I appreciate the fact that Paltrow has to be who she is – an over privileged White woman with more money than she deserves, but the least that she could do is acknowledge that her life is far from typical.  In the latest attempt to share her mystifyingly shallow existence, Paltrow, along with venture capitalist Juliet de Baubigny, and fashion designer Stella McCartney, responded to a readers letter regarding “finding a good balance between having a career and being a mom.”

 The following are a few of the tips that I learned:

  • make sure that you have a great personal assistant
  • have your personal trainer come to your home every Monday morning to help you start your week out right.
  • feel free to depend on multiple expensive personal electronic gadgets to help you follow your passions and interests
  • decorate the shoe boxes with toys, toothbrushes, hats, scarves, books, etc, for the school Christmas toy drive and don’t feel guilty about not doing more cause you are too important
  • make sure to have a weekly blow out so that you don’t have to wash your hair everyday
  • get tips on applying makeup quickly from Wallet Lubrich (yes that’s a real name)
  • Get together with your girlfriends once a quarter
  • Be sure to spend time with your kids in the morning before the nanny arrives
  • Be sure to have all of the ingredients for your meals delivered because it saves time and in London Paltrow recommends Ocado and James Knight
  • It’s okay to be late for you 9AM work out if your little one is having a touch of separation anxiety

I trust you catch the drift.  These women are anything but the typical working mother and their commentary makes it seem like everyone lives like they do.  I know that many just love to hate Paltrow, because hey, it’s fun, but she really does make it easy by insisting on behaving as though her way of life is even the least bit accessible to the world. In fact, the entire “newsletter” (notice how she is too good to say piece or post like every other blogger), feels like some queen strolled down Mt.Olympus to have walk amongst the common folks before running back into the heavens, so that the strains of the ordinary life could not touch her.

I will admit that part of this is my fault, because I should have known better than to even look at GOOP.  I am not asking the women of GOOP to give up their stolen rewards, merely acknowledge them for what they are.  Walking around in purposeful ignorance because the ill gotten gains feels good perpetuates the cycle of exploitation.  When I first read the newsletter, my brain was screaming fuck you and fuck off and perhaps that is all the response I should have given it, because those that don’t live on high know better. GOOP is not only a waste of time, it is a waste of bandwidth. Honestly, women like Paltrow matter little in the grand scheme of things and the sooner they realize that this inflated level of self importance is irrelevant the better.  Now someone pass the humus, this working mom needs some energy to deal with her children because exploiting other women to be a nanny is inaccessible and exploitative.

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