Alton Brown: Fatties Are Ruining The World

Those that have been reading Womanist Musings from the beginning, know that I have developed a great disdain for the foodnetwork, and its stable of celebrity chefs.  Much of my dislike is based in observing their tendency to offer white men as experts on foods from across the globe.  Of course they can cook the meals better, lord knows that the western white mans burden is to become an expert at cultural appropriation and colonization.

image This station so aggravates me, that I almost forgot that the focus of this post is Alton Brown and his fat hatred.  I am a little late getting to this so please excuse the tardy posting. Truth be told, I detest the network and most of the chefs so much that I am often behind when they fuck up, which actually is quite often.  At any rate Mr Food encyclopedia, otherwise known as  Alton Brown has decided that we westerners are decidedly unconnected from our food and this has caused us to live an unsustainable lifestyle.

“I realized that we’re so disconnected from our food — where it lives or grows, how it dies, how it’s processed. None of us in this culture are really living sustainably.”

While I agree that there is much food waste on the part of westerners, the problem is much larger than food.  Our entire economy is based on our ability to consume.  When we cannot purchase, things go wrong pretty fast, hence the depression recession that we are undergoing.  To say that it is all simply the fault of the individual, does not acknowledge the degree to which consumption is a basic tenet of the capitalist system. You know the economic system that rich elites like yourself keep telling poor people works for everyone.

What causes world hunger and soil depletion is our distribution system.  The earth is producing more than enough for everyone to eat, we have simply chosen to value money over people. 

Okay lets hear what else this less than wise sage has to say…

”I’ve struggled with weight all my life, and probably always will. But I was on my most recent book tour I was shocked by the number of overweight families,” he says. “People would come up to me and say, ‘Oh, we love the Food Network.’ Well, no (expletive); did you eat the TV? There’s only four of you and you can’t ride in an elevator together. I’ll probably make fat people angry, but we need, as a culture, to be ashamed. It’s not “… healthy.”

Nice bit of fat hate eh?  Mr. Food Encyclopedia has a problem with his own body image, so why not release that inner hatred on his fans.  Get some fucking therapy and stop spreading your hatred to the people that have not awoken to the fact that you are just a whiny cry baby who  hasn’t learned to love his inner child yet. 

Yeah, you posit people are disconnected from food, but obviously if they are there to purchase your stinking appropriated cookbooks, they are deeply connected to food.  They are not sitting at a McDonalds, or Wendys, or one of your associates restaurants, which is really why you are so pissy they are looking for ways to cook enjoyable meals at home, which btw asshole is the first step in reconnecting with the food chain. 

As for feeling ashamed of the fatties, oh hell why not. We all know that the worst thing a person can be is fat.  We should not be ashamed of the homophobes, racists, classists, rapists, ablists, sexists etc., nooooo the fatties are ruining the world. Just by breathing the same air as the fatties we might catch their “sickness“…yep, cause fatness is a virus that we all need to be inoculated against. Why are we wasting so much time, money and effort trying to cure cancer and aids when we should be battling the fatties?

Alton embrace your inner fat boy and get over it.  Becoming like the bullies that taunted you all of your life because you didn’t fit the stereotype is not going to heal your wounds.  You want closure, stop lashing out at people who didn’t do a damn thing but have the stupidity to buy a book from a man that thinks that they are repulsive. 

This kind of repugnant attitude is not new.  Many of the celebrity chefs that the foodnetwork has chosen to promote continually express the same sort of commentary.  From Gordon Ramsey (asshole extrordinaire) to Alton Brown, they have continually gone to war against fat people.  It seems that in culinary school not only do these chefs learn that the cleaver makes cultural appropriation acceptable, but hey a fancy jacket makes you entitled to display your inner idiot.  Fat hate is wrong.  The food network chefs may be able to flay a fish better than I could ever hope too, but they cumulatively have a long way to go to learn how to be decent human beings. 

In closing I would like to offer a heartfelt fuck you to Alton Brown and his associates at the foodnetwork.

H/T The Big Fat Blog

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