365 Days

Itoro Udofia is an artist and writer living in Amherst, MA. Currently, she is attending graduate school to study social justice and education. Her work focuses primarily on the African Diaspora, black womanhood, identity, solidarity, and love. She hopes to continue using art as a tool for social justice. 

All I see with you is time
A reminder of 365 days wasted ridiculous
Developing your capacities
On the tears of my sorrow
All to have you tamper with my spirit
Return it shattered snapping, “Fix it!”
You are truly an unfortunate labor of love
That kept happening for 365 days
minute by passing minute
second to flitting second
not one break from the tyranny of you
No sugar type of crocodile tears are gonna take away
The fact of wasted time between you and i
And your need for my shoulder to be your stepping stone
For you to feel secure
365 days
Your face
 is a sore reminder of the selflessness I could have given
To someone else a bit more astute
To the pain and suffering of the everyday grind
Us ordinary folk must live through
A little more empathetic
Less removed
More willing to not look away
Talk circles around their circumstance
To justify yours
That time could have been poured into a lasting relationship
That would have endured
The trials of time
365 days
that I want to will back
hug those months, weeks, days, hours
to my heart
wrap its passing around me like a tight knit sweater
needed for the winter time
Use it for my warmth
To light fire to my spirit
To aid my coldest nights
365 days
of undeserved time
Wreaks tension in the air around us
365 days
have passed
Now I’m fixing on knitting that love for myself
for the chill will come again
And this time I will ignite a match on my own heart
and use it to forge love with those who choose to risk the same
Setting fires to the chill of any indecision
To love beyond power and condition
365 days
you will now miss in my company
and sit in the open wound of a love deterred
No salve will soothe the sensation
Of burning guilt
and you got another thing coming
if you think there’ll ever be another chance
for you to waste my time again
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